The Last Supper

Friday, 16th August, Entebbe Time: 8:31pm

Well, here it is. My last blog entry from Uganda. I’ve just returned from town where I enjoyed a final meal of the suitably Ugandan dish “chipsgoat” before wandering around Entebbe in search of some last minute supplies. My first stop-off was at the groceries store where I thought I’d buy some chocolate for the trip. As I browsed the chocolate selection, I noticed a moustached Indian man beckoning me over and pointing to some biscuits. He told me that I should buy ‘glucose’ biscuits, because they were very cheap. Assuming he was one of the shop staff, I asked him how much the packet of ‘fruitella’ that I was holding cost. He told me not to worry and that he’d buy them for me. Noticing something was a little wrong, I turned and raised my eyebrows. Just as I my head turned, I noticed his left hand making a beeline for my balls. I jumped back and caught the tail end of the attempted grope square in the goulies. Beating a hasty retreat, I trotted quickly towards the checkout and bought the fruitella without thinking. I didn’t really want fruitella…

Somewhat rattled from my brief encounter with the amorous Asian, I drifted towards the local pharmacy in search of some sleeping tablets to help shorten the plane journey. “Do you have anything that would help me sleep”, I asked. A bottle of valium was thrust into my hands. Inquiries into whether they stocked anything “a little weaker” met with a blank stare. To be honest, I was sorely tempted just to buy just a couple of tabs and wake up in blighty. If it worked for Anna Karenina and Eminem, why shouldn’t it work for me. Upon further reflection I realised that valium abuse had resulted in a terminal visit to a train terminal and that train wreck of an album “Recovery” respectively. I left empty handed and wandered back to the guesthouse.

And, well, here I am, waiting for a final snack before I turn in for three or four fleeting hours sleep before the taxi to the airport. Hopefully by the time I’m on the plane I’ll have recovered suitably from the sexual harassment and will be ready to face the rigours of the horrifically long voyage to the UK. And that’s it from me. I hope you enjoyed the blog.

So long, Uganda, and thanks for all the Chimps!