The Colgate Frown

Monday, 9th August, Semliki Time: 6:15

After much palaver, muddle and general red-tapery, we’re finally back in camp, our permits sorted and under no danger of being ejected by force. We are also no longer the only wazungu in the chimp project and David (the new camp manager) and Holly (his glamorous assistant) met us in Kampala and headed out with us. We spent the day dealing with a little more bureaucracy, in the from of “Chris Aggrey”, the head warden. They say that power corrupts and, while this might not always be true, it does seem to inflate egos. Aggrey berated us for not turning up at his office three weeks before hand, chastised the camp's lack of progress in habituating the chimps, boasted of his copious experience of Europe and droned on and on about how much improvement had been made to the Semliki National Park during his tenure as Head Warden. David, Holly, Alex and I nodded and made noises of affirmation for at least an hour, until we were actually starting to become hoarse.

I’m happy to have returned to the jungle, although disappointed that one of my tests might prove unreliable. I had the bright idea that we might be able to test whether the chimps were using bark as tooth brushes by dousing the wads in dental disclosing solution. I e-mailed Bill who thought this was a peachy idea and, out of his own pocket, paid for two bottles of “Agent Blue” mouth wash and dental-disclosing solution to be sent to David and Holly and flown to Semliki. Bill, if you’re reading this, I intend to pay you fluid ounce for fluid ounce in whisky. The solution arrived intact and minty fresh, and, first thing on my return, I set to trying it out on my own teeth as well as a few pieces of bark I had lying around. Sadly, it turns out that the stuff dyes not just plaque, but everything. This means than any tests I’m going to be able to do with it will be wholly unreliable unless I find a way to distinguish the blue it dyes plants from the blue it dyes bark. I live in hope, but it came as rather a blow.

Anyway, as we’re now four people using one solar battery, I’ll cut my blog entry off here. Tomorrow, if I’ve enough juice, I intent to wax lyrical about the joys of Fort Portal. If the chimps don’t show up first, that is.